Monday, March 07, 2005

Yeah, i'm still here...

Okay, I know, I haven’t made a post in what seems like forever, but I have a very good reason…I was in the hospital. You see it all started off with that heist me and Carnage had planned that I told you about in the last post. The thing is, I never realised what an idiot Carnage can be, and a whimp too. We were both stoned, drunk if you will, and when I read the webslinger’s post on his blog, I thought he was already in Vegas. Boy was that embarrassing. So here’s what went down, even though the webslinger wasn’t in Vegas, he still wasn’t there. Good, right? Wrong!

We break into this new Jewellery store when all of a sudden, WHAP, right in the Jaw. My head flies all the way up and my world turns upside down. I’m on the floor and Carnage is hysterical, again, we’re both stoned. I try to get up, only to see the blur of purple leather, its Daredevil!

“Well, he’s blind” I say to myself, how hard can it be? Apparently, very.

I dive forward and land in a glass case housing some necklaces. Ouch. I can still taste the broken glass in my mouth. How’d glass get in my mouth? To that I answer, have you seen my mouth? Carnage is up in arms, we didn’t expect any trouble, yet trouble has found us. I’m bleeding and I’m pissed. I dive again, this time swinging my fists like a madman. Not only does the leather wearing blind boy dodge me, but I punch another glass case and then fly into it. Ouch again…

“Go get him” I tell that moron Carnage, sounding like I had nova cane in my mouth. This time I actually had splinters in my mouth and boy, lemme tell ya…

Carnage drunk is like playing pool with rope, let me just get that out there. I finally try getting up when I see a mass of flesh being hurled at me, I don’t know what it is, but does blindness make you extra strong? I didn’t see how, but I sure did hear the thumb when Daredevil sent Carnage flying. Yeah.

I’m drunk and now tired; I wasn’t prepared for any of this fighting. I make my last desperate attempt to get rid of purple boy, but boy is he agile. He throws his cane and it flies right through my legs. “Close one” I think to myself. Boy was I wrong again. I walk forward trying to be quiet, because I remember in the Daredevil movie that he hears vibrations or something. I dunno, but I was desperate. I walk forward when SLICE! I walk on the biggest splinter I ever saw and felt in my life. Just as I start hopping on one foot, POW, I get it between the eyes. Just as my head tilts back, THUNK!, the can comes back and hits me in the head.

I fell to the ground, Carnage was out cold, though I’m not sure if it was from the booze or the blows from purple boy. I though the next logical step was to call the cops- but not on blind boy’s watch. I don’t know how, but the dude, picks carnage up and hurls him into the dumpster right opposite the store. Then he picks me up and does the same. We’re talkin' like 10 feet or something, but then again, it could have been more or less, I was seeing multiple images of everything.

I’m in the dark dumpster, when I muster up the strength to at least get out, I put my hands in the edge of the dumpster and WHAM, he closes it on my finger and says to me “Spidey said to go easy on you”.

I was in agony, I luckily had a cell and called that flying green lizard to pick us up. Wouldn’t you know, that rich SOB actually has his own infirmary. I’ve been there for who knows how long and only just come out. I’m not typing this, I’m dictating and a “friend” is typing out all this stuff for me. All I have to say to Spidey is watch out, we’re planning for ya, but in cyberspace, we’re cool….

So people, no, I haven’t given up the blogging thing, though Green Goblin has told me that he has. SO please, comment, email and all that good stuff, I’ll update more, I promise, as soon as I’m back to normal in a couple days, I’ll let you in on what I have planned next, and boy this’ll be sweet!

P.S.
I'll be add a link to ya, okay sue?

-ihatespiderman@gmail.com


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